Qualifications

So I’ve come up with a list of qualifications for my next relationship. Here it is:

  1. He has to challenge me mentally. I’m tired of dating men that cannot talk to me about the things that interest me because they simply do not understand them.
  2. No DUIs. Come on. “But I was young and stupid.” Yeah I was young and stupid once too but I didn’t get pulled over drunk.
  3. Doesn’t want kids. I know this is a sensitive topic but I don’t want kids. I don’t even think I can have them to be honest, so it’s easier to not want them then to be heartbroken over trying and failing to conceive. Plus I don’t want to grow a human. That’s too much work.
  4. Wants to travel. Obvious.
  5. Will take cute selfies with me and not bitch about it. 😛 
  6. Will do things with me like painting the house at 2am. Seriously because I just painted my upstairs hallway.
  7. Works out. This will motivate me to do the same.
  8. Physically attractive. Come on ladies. If you don’t wanna have sex with your man then the relationship is not gonna work.
  9. College degree or some kind of equivalent expensive piece of paper.
  10. Has his own goals in life. And wants to help me to achieve my goals.
  11. Will walk BESIDE me through life. Not in front of or behind me. I need someone who can share the load. I’m tired of being strong all by myself. Someone standing with me can help to ease some of the struggle.
  12. Supports me in what I do. I will do the same.
  13. “Put on that dress I like and I’ll pick you up at 7.” Plan dates for us. Stop using “I don’t know, you pick.” I want romance.
  14. Will want to take baths with me. 
  15. Bonfires, mud bogs, and truck pulls. Duh.
  16. Eats healthy. I need motivation in that area too.
  17. Spontaneous. What if I wanna drive to the beach one night and just lay out on the sand on a blanket and contemplate the universe with the waves crashing in the background?
  18. Since I’m a Scorpio, astrological matches are a must. No Libras. Sorry guys. I’m also pretty done with Virgos…
  19. Spiritual. Not religious. I’m a wiccan. I need someone that understands what I do. That’s important. No I will not go to church. So don’t ask.
  20. Will do yoga with me. I’ve always wanted to try tantric yoga 😉
  21. Most importantly…can understand, appreciate, and use sarcasm with ease.
  22. TATTOOS…I love them. I have lots and am getting more. Share this with me.
  23. Coffee drinker. This is kind of a deal breaker.
  24. Dog person.
  25. Has a job/career that he loves or is at least happy with.
  26. Has experience in the restaurant business. I’m tired of explaining to people why I don’t leave right at the time we close.
  27. He has to dance. This is also a deal breaker.
  28. I have to be attracted to his hands. I love rough hands. Working man’s hands. That know when to fight, when to work, and when to love. I need to feel safe and secure in his arms.

I know this is probably a tall order but I’m done with settling. I want what I want, and I will get what I want or I’ll just end up being the crazy dog lady.

I want my first marriage to be my only marriage.

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