Qualifications

So I’ve come up with a list of qualifications for my next relationship. Here it is:

  1. He has to challenge me mentally. I’m tired of dating men that cannot talk to me about the things that interest me because they simply do not understand them.
  2. No DUIs. Come on. “But I was young and stupid.” Yeah I was young and stupid once too but I didn’t get pulled over drunk.
  3. Doesn’t want kids. I know this is a sensitive topic but I don’t want kids. I don’t even think I can have them to be honest, so it’s easier to not want them then to be heartbroken over trying and failing to conceive. Plus I don’t want to grow a human. That’s too much work.
  4. Wants to travel. Obvious.
  5. Will take cute selfies with me and not bitch about it.  
  6. Will do things with me like painting the house at 2am. Seriously because I just painted my upstairs hallway.
  7. Works out. This will motivate me to do the same.
  8. Physically attractive. Come on ladies. If you don’t wanna have sex with your man then the relationship is not gonna work.
  9. College degree or some kind of equivalent expensive piece of paper.
  10. Has his own goals in life. And wants to help me to achieve my goals.
  11. Will walk BESIDE me through life. Not in front of or behind me. I need someone who can share the load. I’m tired of being strong all by myself. Someone standing with me can help to ease some of the struggle.
  12. Supports me in what I do. I will do the same.
  13. “Put on that dress I like and I’ll pick you up at 7.” Plan dates for us. Stop using “I don’t know, you pick.” I want romance.
  14. Will want to take baths with me. 
  15. Bonfires, mud bogs, and truck pulls. Duh.
  16. Eats healthy. I need motivation in that area too.
  17. Spontaneous. What if I wanna drive to the beach one night and just lay out on the sand on a blanket and contemplate the universe with the waves crashing in the background?
  18. Since I’m a Scorpio, astrological matches are a must. No Libras. Sorry guys. I’m also pretty done with Virgos…
  19. Spiritual. Not religious. I’m a wiccan. I need someone that understands what I do. That’s important. No I will not go to church. So don’t ask.
  20. Will do yoga with me. I’ve always wanted to try tantric yoga
  21. Most importantly…can understand, appreciate, and use sarcasm with ease.
  22. TATTOOS…I love them. I have lots and am getting more. Share this with me.
  23. Coffee drinker. This is kind of a deal breaker.
  24. Dog person.
  25. Has a job/career that he loves or is at least happy with.
  26. Has experience in the restaurant business. I’m tired of explaining to people why I don’t leave right at the time we close.
  27. He has to dance. This is also a deal breaker.
  28. I have to be attracted to his hands. I love rough hands. Working man’s hands. That know when to fight, when to work, and when to love. I need to feel safe and secure in his arms.

I know this is probably a tall order but I’m done with settling. I want what I want, and I will get what I want or I’ll just end up being the crazy dog lady.

I want my first marriage to be my only marriage.

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You Don’t Believe? Then Don’t Worry.

So I was talking with a bar customer the other day and he made the statement “everyone who believes in astrology is crazy” and how he didn’t believe in astrology. That’s perfectly fine by me! We all have differing opinions about what we believe in. What I don’t understand is how you can’t believe in something but are afraid of it. For example:

If you don’t believe in magick, how can you believe that you have been cursed? That doesn’t make any damn sense. “I don’t believe that magick exists but please don’t curse me!” Really? That would be like saying “I don’t believe in God but I hope he doesn’t smite me for saying that.” If you don’t believe in God, there would be no ‘he’ and definitely no smiting. 

So anyway, this guy continues to tell me that he believes a certain person was going to or had put a curse on him. I explained to him that was not what was happening and tried an educational route. He responded with “I don’t believe in any of that.” *facepalm. I then tried to explain that if he truly didn’t believe in magick or any of “that”, he wouldn’t have to worry about being cursed. Ugh.

Yes, I am a witch. No, I will not curse you. That completely violates the threefold rule. That would be stupid. Going dark is not something you can come back from. I practice purely helpful magick, energy manipulation, meditation, spells for healing, spells for money, etc. I might occasionally bind someone but that’s as far as I go. 

So who do I worship? 

I worship no one being. I hate that word. I draw energy from the faces of the Divine diamond but I don’t worship anyone or anything. I simply call upon them for aid in whatever spell I’m working because divine energy is incredibly helpful. Yes I give thanks to those I call upon but it’s not worship. 

No, I don’t hurt people.  I also stay away from love spells. That’s a wishy washy subject. A “be careful what you wish for” topic.

My point?

People are stupid. Don’t be stupid. Believe what you want to. Your beliefs are yours and yours alone. Don’t believe in it? Don’t worry about it!

Blessed be.

Seraphina

Another Tidbit from the Fast Lane

We are the people our parents warned us about. Yup. It’s true. But you know what? We realize that you only have one life to live. So smoke, drink, and do whatever the fuck you want. Just make sure you have your shit together. Spend your money in the right places and have some responsibility. Being an adult is hard work and I know I’m still learning how to do it. Honestly, we will never fully “learn” how to adult properly. That’s half the fun. 

Living in the fast lane is great! You pass all the people that you don’t need in your life. The ones that can’t drive. Sometimes you’ll get that asshole that goes 5 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane and slows down traffic, but eventually you’ll get around them. Those are the people who think they can handle it but really can’t. They are very good at slowing down the people around them. I know I’ve said this before but misery loves company.

 So if you can’t handle it, move over and let everyone else get on with their lives. Stop being a roadblock. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something to change your life. Stop focusing on bringing other people down with you. That’s bullshit. The. End.

Alcohol Part 1 – The Cocktail

Every time I see this word I think of that country song by Brad Paisley. The one where alcohol makes you put that lamp shade on your head. I can’t read this word as ‘alcohol’, I read it as he sings it ‘alllll-cah-haaaaaaallllll’. Once you hear that song, you will never see that word the same again!

My own recipe for a pink Starburst shooter. I also make them as drinks, and I suppose you can make them into martinis too.

So why the post about alcohol? Well, my life revolves around it. You can’t bartend without alcohol, according to the song, it helps white people dance (we all know that one guy), and really brings people together (unless you’re that angry drunk that wants to fight everybody and their brother when you drink).

Watermelon Basil Margarita from BJ’S Brewhouse. They look so pretty!

One of my favorite things to do when bartending is make cocktails. Mixology has become increasingly popular throughout the years and rightfully so! You combine your knowledge of flavors to create the perfect cocktail. It’s a science. It’s math. It’s art. It’s beauty. And it gets people drunk. Which is the ultimate goal right? To make people feel good? I know I strive to make my customers feel happy and welcome. What better way to do that than with a perfectly crafted mixed drink?

Handcrafted Lemon Drop Martini. I really enjoy making these as martinis. There is just something about putting a perfect sugar rim on a martini glass that makes you feel so accomplished!

My fellow bartender best friend, Scorpio, and I are planning a trip to New York City to take a mixology class. Why? Because why not? Go to New York, shop, eat, dance, drink, and learn how to make the most fabulous cocktails ever. One thing about being a bartender, you can NEVER stop learning. The bar world changes so fast and so much that you HAVE to go take courses, read articles online, watch YouTube videos, etc. in order to keep up with trends. 

The “it” thing right now with cocktails is fruit and herbs. That’s right. Fresh raspberries in a cocktail? Ok. Elaborate garnishes with bright green limes, exquisitely cut orange slices, that perfectly yellow lemon wedge, leafy stalks of celery in bloody marys? Ok. Let’s through some pineapple, limes, cherries, and an orange in there and muddle it all together. Ok, sure. That probably wouldn’t taste too great but you catch my point. Rum and cokes are a thing of the past. You better get used to ordering a Sex On A Fire Truck, or a Strawberry Mojito, or a White Peach Margarita (which includes slices of peach in the drink). 

Here is me in my natural habitat behind the bar. Martinis for days!

Have fun with your alcohol! Order those fancy fru-fru drinks…it’s ok!! Learn new things. Love what you do! Make people happy!

Adventures

Adventures aren’t always traveling far away. They can be as simple as going to Waffle House at 3am or a spontaneous trip to the river five minutes from your house. Adventures don’t always have to be with someone else either. You could take a trip to a little hole in the wall used book store or take yourself out to lunch. 

It’s always fun with somebody though. Everyone needs that one person to randomly do shit with. That friend that will call you at 2pm and say “get dressed we’re going on an adventure”. 

Be that friend. Call someone close to you and go do something. Go get coffee. Go get tattoos. Do an impromptu photo shoot in the park near your house. 

Getting ready to move across the country, I’m looking for my adventure buddy. Be that a romantic partner or a friend…doesn’t matter. I’d love to have someone pack everything up and travel with me. On the way to Arizona we will stop at all the breweries on the way. Site see, stay in motels, sing loudly to every song on the radio, just enjoy being together. We can go anywhere and do anything. The world is our playground.

Now accepting applications

Blessed be!

Seraphina

A Little Bit From the Fast Lane

Yes, you read that right. Fuck ’em. If you don’t have haters then you aren’t living your life to the fullest. 

Gossip and rumors happen but you have to learn how to let it roll off your back. Understand that people talk. Boring people talk about you because you are more beautiful, successful, and intellegent than they will ever be. 

I know you’re probably thinking “that is so high school”. You’re right. The people that start this shit are still stuck in high school. They were most likely bullies and had nothing going for them and still don’t, so they resort to spreading rumors and false truths about the successful people around them. They will also be extremely coniving and do things to ruin other people’s livelihoods to get the job that they desire. They know that they have no real skills and have to undermine someone else in order to get where they want to be. Yes, it’s bullshit, but yes it happens. I’ve seen it so many times. We love in a world where no one wants to put effort in anymore, they want the easy way out, or in. 

My advice? Stay away from these people. They will talk about you no matter what but if you leave them be to suffer in their own misery, you won’t fuel their fire.

Remember misery loves company. So fuck ’em. Do you and be you and don’t worry about anyone else.

Blessed be! 

Seraphina