Forbidden – Poem #200

What once was

No longer makes sense

Or what is now

Is just a dream

Holding on to

A fading glance

The smallest twinkle

In the stars

Forbidden, really though?

Three harsh syllables

Butterflies stir

Say it again

The root starts to flame

Forbidden, really though!

With three harsh syllables

The glass ceiling shatters

Leaving butterfly wings

Pinned for display

With three harsh syllables

The flame crawls too high

Singeing the edges

Of hope, leaving dismay

(ยฉ August 2011)

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Alone

Alone is an interesting word with a lot of different implications. Alone in the house for a while…alone in the bath tub soaking the work day out of your tired feet…sitting alone in a bookstore using their WiFi to work on school assignments.

Then there is the alone where you sit in the house all day by yourself waiting for your best friend and pretty much husband to get home from a day of work with only the characters from Big Bang Theory to keep you company. The alone where your phone is so silent that you start to wonder why the hell you even pay to keep it turned on. The kind of alone where you finally have a job that gives you copious amounts of time off while you still make enough money to make ends meet and more and finally have the time to write but depression gets the better of you so you sit and do nothing. But you’re not doing nothing, you’re bored as fuck and trying to figure out something to do. So you pack up your laptop in your purse, say bye to the dogs, jump in the car and head to the closest bookstore. Nope. Too many people there. So you go to a local deli and sit for hours finally able to write. But then you get bored again so you go spend money on unnecessary things to waste time till he gets home and end up coming home with bags and an empty wallet wondering why you can’t save money.

Now it’s 1:30am and you can’t sleep but you’re so depressed you have no motivation to do anything but are so bored you have to do something so you start writing a blog post about being alone. Viscious cycle. Big Bang Theory still playing in the background as you try your best to stay quiet so he can sleep because he has to work in the morning.

You know, it’s funny that people call you their friend when you are out in public together but you’re really not. No one calls you or texts you unless they need something from you or all of their other more important friends are busy. The sad part about that though? You’re so desperate to have friends that you’ll jump when they say to. Then you end up getting used and walked all over and swear that you’ll never hang out with them again. Unfortunately the phone rings and you jump when they say so…again.

That is alone. Having only one person in your life that you can rely on because you can’t even rely on yourself. Don’t get me wrong. Having such a person in your life is amazing. He will do anything for you and you love him deeply and will do anything for him…but it’s a lonely existence. Especially when you can’t even think of three people you can rely on, or even want, to be bridesmaids if you two ever got married.

So now it’s 1:44am and you’re sitting alone in the bathroom trying to figure out if you want to take a bath and switch out Big Bang for Friends, still typing. Ehh might as well. I don’t have anything else to do.

“Nah, I’m fine.” She said with a smile.

Well…

I cannot believe it’s been so long since I have posted anything here.  Life has a weird way of catching up to you and before you know it, you’re stuck in traffic. Good news is that traffic always let’s up, it just may take a while.

So I’ve decided to get off the highway for a while

 and cruise down some backroads. Hopefully this will give me time to do what I love to do. Write.

Love, peace, and Blessed Be

Seraphina

Coffee

I feel that my love of coffee deserves a blog post so here it is:

Coffee and I have an undying relationship. When things get rocky, Coffee is what I turn to to make it all go away. A warm cup of coffee helps everything. Sometimes Coffee needs the help of his friends Baileys and Khalua (those are the more rough days) though. Like today. I have gone through so many emotions in the past two days it is unbelievable. My ex moved out yesterday, I’m suffering from a horrible ear infection, mother nature can be a bitch, and let me just say that when someone seems too good to be true…they are. 

So Baileys and Khalua have joined forces with Coffee to help me recover from this emotional bombardment. It also helped that my dear Scorpio friend came to visit today and I was able to sage my house of left over energies and get back into reading tarot. 

My all time favorite coffee mug. It combines my love of coffee with my love of Mustangs and Fords.

So thank you Coffee for being there when no one else is. You are warm and comforting to my soul. I think that you are my soul mate.

For real though, if you want to win me over, just bring me coffee…preferably from Dunkin Donuts.. Large Xtra Cream and Xtra Sugar ๐Ÿ™‚

Blessed be!

Seraphina